Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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