The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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