I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
please come you make the beer taste better
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
