So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
