I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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