tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
