In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
