I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
