didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
