We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
