she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I lost the right to judge tonight
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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