Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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