I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
