Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
