I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
my poor anus
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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