Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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