Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
