k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
