im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
