When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
