When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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