Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
