He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
