I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
