Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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