i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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