Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
