jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
