the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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