He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
