I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
A bitchslap is in order.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
