Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
