OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
