i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
