i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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