I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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