How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
