official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
