erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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