Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
