I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
