We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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