There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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