How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
