u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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