i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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