Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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