Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
