yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
