is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
